


This is not what your supposed to see

by Merekyg



Series: Don't let me be gone [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anal Sex, Anxiety Attacks, Attempted Murder, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Cutting, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Graphic Depictions of Illness, M/M, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Sucide, Suicidal Thoughts, Terrified, Two Voices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 05:59:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 11,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8833120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merekyg/pseuds/Merekyg
Summary: This is not what your supposed to see





	1. So far he hasn't seen

**Author's Note:**

> I can self relate to this in many ways...

This is not what your supposed to see. No one was supposed to see this. That's why Tyler always wore long sleeves... to  __cover up _them._  

He hated summer. He hated it with all his heart.Tyler _hated_  going to the beach and being in the sun and  _oh god he hated taking his shirt off._ He didn't like torching people with the sight of his fat pale body...all marked up. Summer was a no go.

Winter on the other hand Tyler loved. Besides his birthday Tyler could wear layers and long sleeves clothes. He could cover up his arm more specifically his  _wrists._ During the winter time he could stay inside away from others. Humans at least. Tyler only liked one human. He only felt comfortable around one other person. This person made him feel safe, loved and God he would be so mad if he found that Tyler...

Josh never really knew why he always wore long sleeves but Tyler liked it so he just went along with it. 

Tyler hated it when  Josh left. He was alone..with his thoughts and usually  _he_ would come. Luckily right now Josh was home. They were enjoying his spaghetti he had made. Tyler only ate Josh's food any other he would usually throw up.

He liked to keep pretty slim for Josh.

"Whats that on your arm?" 

Tyler put his fork down and looked at his right arm. 

"Nothing."

Josh shook his head.

"Your other arm."

Tyler looked at this left arm which was being covered up partially by a black jacket.

"Um..I was at work and somthing fell on me-some glass."

_Yeah that was believeable. Lots of crazy things happen at Walmart._

"Oh, Tyler you've got to be much more careful. I don't want you to get hurt."

Tyler nodded. He twirled some spaghetti with his fork and slowly brought it up to his lips.

"Tyler I love you. I don't want my baby boy all marked up."

Tyler looked down.

_Yeah you wouldn't want me all marked up._

 


	2. Shirts...on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why don't you ever take your shirt off?" Josh asked?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to post a new one at least once a day

"Why don't you ever take your shirt off?" Josh asked. 

"I do." Tyler looked at his boyfriend who he was cuddling with.

"Mmm...OK take it off now, for daddy."

_daddy_

When Josh used the word it immediately got Tyler horny. He starated to.

_he's gonna be so pissed when he sees how fat you are_

"ummm...." Tyler pauses. " i don't want to."

"Why not Tyler? You love it when I say daddy. Plus I wanna see that good looking bod."

"Yeah..but."

"What?" Josh looked at him.

"Im..tired. I know what this is gonna lead to." Tyler smirks a little before looking down. "Im..not exactly in the mood for it right now."

_Tired. That was good I did have a long day...plus Josh can't we my chest...he can't see the cuts and my arms.._

"Oh..we did have a long day."Josh looked down then back at Tyler. "I love you Ty."

"I love you too Josh." He snuggled into Josh.

"I love you no matter what."

_Yeah you do..but you'll be so mad when I take my shirt off and you see..all of the cuts._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The future chapters will be longer and better im limited on time right now sry.


	3. Hello darkness my old friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello darkness my old friend

Nighttime was Tyler's least favorite. Sure he could make out with Josh and other things but Tyler didn't feel very pretty tonight. He found himself laying in bed...with his thoughts and then  _he_ would come.

"Good night Ty." Josh settled in bed.

"Good night Josh..."

Of course Josh fell asleep almost immediately and Tyler was left alone..

_with him_

_Don't let him come don't go..don't let him control you_

but still somehow Tyler found himself hint the bathroom.

"Well well well lookit who showed up."

"Hello darkness my old friend." 

"That's a new one." 

Tyler looked away from Blurryface.

"What do you want?

"You chose to come here." Blurry grinned.

"No! You brought me here."

 Blurry still smirking, brought out a knife from behind him.

"Here."

Tyler held the knife. He lightly ran his fingers over the blade before bringing it to his arm.

"Does that feel good?"

Tyler nodded as he cut his arm. Blood seeped out.

_gotta get get clean...Clean for Josh._

Tyler liked it when he cut. When he cut he bled. And when he bled he felt clean. He felt like he was emptying himself, mentally.

He needed mental help.

Tyler made five long cuts on his arm letting the blood spill out onto the sink. Tyler turned on the cold water and ran it over his arms. It helped to stop the bleeding and the pain-sometimes. 

"Good job." Blurry looked at Tyler. He looked back at little worried but not too much.

"Yeah...I sure."

_bam bam_

Tyler nearly dropped the knife when he heard the door knock.

"Hey Ty you ok in there?"

"Yeah-I am." He was frozen in fear. If Josh caught him he would lose his shit.

"You better not be touching yourself in there."

Tyler couldn't help but smirk. "I'm not daddy."

"That slipped out." Blurry grinned. 

"Shut up."

"Who are talking to?" Josh called out from outside.

"No-one!"

"Ok..but please hurry up I have to pee..!"

"Kay.'' Tyler bit his lip. "Here take the knife and go."

Blurry grinned. "Ok..remember I care what you think." Blurry vanished.

Tyler held his wrists so Josh wouldn't see as he opened the door.

"Here."

"Thanks-get out." Josh smirked and closed the door behind him.

Tyler laughed when he heard the trickle of Josh peeing and sighing.

"Ty I know you're there. Go to bed."

Tyler smiled then climbed in bed.

"Ow-" He hissed looking at his cuts.

Soon Josh came back.

"Not funny dude. Don't stalk me while I'm peeing."

"Sorry daddy." 

"Its ok g'night." 

"Night." Tyler rolled over so Josh wouldn't see the cuts.

_I'm not as fine as I seem_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll edit and make it longer I'm not dun yet.
> 
> Haha see what I did there


	4. What really goes down in Walmart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crazy shit does go down in there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha this fucking chapter got deleted so I had to redo it.
> 
> HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH 
> 
> *tears falling*

Tyler apparently hated a lot of things. Summer, people, food. But out of all of the hated  _Walmart_ the most. He hated that place _that_ job. He didn't even know why he got it.

Oh wait

_cuz Josh made him cuz he needs to have better 'social skills'_

He really hated that place so much.

"Joseph!" 

He looks at his boss.

"Get back to work or you're fired!"

Tyler nodded and  _slowly_ got back to work. Tyler wasn't scared of him. He just acted like it cause he liked to see his boss act like he's all big and bad when Tyler really knows that he's not.

Sometimes when his boss threatened to fire him he just wanted to leave. He just wanted to accept the offer. 

_yes thank you I've been waiting for this day since I walked in! Also by the way fuck you, fuck you, you're cool and fuck you I'm out!_

_"_ Joseph!"

"Yes?"

"Don't you yes me! Get back to work.

And people wonder why he wants to kill himself.

Tyler sighed as his boss walked away.

"Dudes got issues."

"Hm?"

"He does he really does more issues than me."

Tyler looked up at the dude who was talking to him.

_Brendon_

_"_ I see you looking at my tag."

Tyler blushed.

"It's ok dude. Names Brendon-Oh wait you know that  _my tag._ " 

Tyler smiles at him.

"And trust me I hate this job just as much as you do-more even."

"Its walmart who doesn't." 

"I know right." Brendon looks at his watch. "Well my shiftwas over like 10 minutes ago. I'm out." 

"Same here-Brendon."

"Wanna cell to the break room with me?" He smiled at Tyler.

"Sure" Tyler smiles back and they head that way.

"Joseph!!!! Urie!!! There's no breaks get back to work!!" 

"Well fuck." Brendon glares then rolls his eyes.

"Sometimes I wish Blurryface could just come here and whip his ass-instead of mine." 

"Who's Blurryface?"

"Uh no one!" Tyler looked away

* * *

 

"Josh I made a new friend!"

"You did?"

"Yeah I did! His name is Brendon and he's really cool." Tyler smiles happily.

"That's good." Josh puts their dinner on the table. "You're actually making friends."

_actually??_

"Uh..Yeah I'm making friends Jishwa."

"So do you like your job better now cause of Brandon?"

"Its Brendon and hell no."

Josh laughed a little bit. "It's good for you. You can work on your social skills."

Tyler narrowed his eyes.

_Yeah i need to improve my social skills mister Tyler is my only friend._

Tyler was antisocial but he was waaayyy better at making friends then Josh was. 

Josh isn't perfect.


	5. Foreshadowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No no no you've got it all twisted

No no no you've got it all twisted.

_Josh isn't perfect. I only highlight Tyler's flaws but Josh is just as flawed._

_Keep that in mind._

_Tyler has really bad depression and suicidal thoughts yes,_

_But Josh_

_Josh has really bad anxiety, he has panic attacks. Really bad ones. When he gets worried or anxious he gets depressed. Sometimes Josh feels lonely. Tyler made a new friend._

_Brendon_

_Josh is really shy. He hates talking-especially in front of crowds. That's why he prefers drummimg.  He doesn't have to verbal talk. He lets the music talk for him._

_When he has to talk to new people or give a oral speech he gets anxious. He gets nervous and worried. He gets sick._

_Josh is a sick shy little guy. He's not perfect. He has more flaws then Tyler. Tyler is good at making friends. He adorable._

_Josh he's horrible._

_That's why he outs so much pressure on Tyler. Josh wants him to be great. To be better than Josh_

_In case he doesn't make it_

_Tyler isn't the only who's suicidal.._

_Josh is just as flawed._

_Keep that in mind._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jk I love you Jishwa 
> 
> Me and him have so much in common...


	6. Pity party

"Tyler what do you want for your bir-early Christmas present?"

Tyler sat up next to Josh.

_please don't let it be December 1st..._

Tyler looked at his phone.

_December 1st_

_Fuck._

"I dunno."

"Com'on I'm sure you want something."

"Yeah But I probably don't know what it is yet." He looked down.

Josh smiled at him.

"Happy early Christmas Tyler." He kisses him on the lips lightly.

_Uh huh 'CHRISTMAS'._

* * *

Tyler decided not to go to work today. He didn't want to deal with  _certain_ people today. 

Tyler hated his birthday. he hated the idea of celebrating him being born. Sure he liked other people's birthdays but not his own. He didn't even like him being remembered whenever he dies. the only difference was that Tyler looked forward to his death day. Not his birthday.

Luckily Josh let Tyler skip dinner that night but only because he agreed to eat a peice of cake.

"This cake is good Josh."

"Thank you. I enjoyed making it for you."

Tyler smiles then puts some of the icing on Josh's nose.

"Mmm you're being naughty Tyler." Josh smiles at him. "Just because it's  your birthday doesn't mean that I won't teach you lesson in the bedroom."

Tyler'sface got a little red.

Josh realized what he said.

"Umm...Christmas..just because it's your early Christmas day doesn't mean I won't teach you.." Josh looks away blushing.  

"Mmm...but i like your lessons." Tyler smiles again and licked the frosting off of Josh's nose.

"Ah you do? Well wait here for a bit. Daddy's gonna go pick somthing up for you."

"What is it??"

"You're gonna have to wait and see-but I'll meet you in the bedroom." Josh winked before leaving. 

_Joshuah William Dun how dare you make me wait on my birth-_

* * *

 

Tyler went upstairs and waited in the bedroom. 

_Josh is so nice..I don't deserve to be alive he doesn't deserve me. I don't deserve a good guy like him.._

Tyler started crying.

Crying on his birthday 

He opened his eyes again to see Blurry standing in front of his with a knife. 

"Happy birthday Tyler."

"Don't say birthday!! it's not my birthday!!!" He grabbed the knife in anger.

"Yes it is. You were born today. On December 1st." Blurry grinned.

"NO I WASN'T!!!"

"Tyler Joseph you were born toda-"

"AND I'LL DIE TODAY TOO!!!!" He takes the knife and cuts himself so deep and so long that even Blurry is surprised.

"Well damn."

He vanished.

"Oh shit! Oh shit Oh shit!!!" Tyler looked at his arm and saw all of the blood rushing down and out of it. 

_Josh is going to kill me!! He is going to be so mad at me!!_

Tyler started crying. He started crying a lot then he felt sick.

he rushed to the bathroom only to throw up.

It was a mess. Tyler was a mess. 

 He stood up and started to feel lightheaded after seeing the  _huge_ cut on his arm.

 Everything started swaying then Tyler felt his face smack the cold tile floor.....

 


	7. He wasn't supposed to see

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wasn't

He wasn't supposed to see 

_Josh walked into the house._

_"Tyler I'm home!!...Daddy's home"_

_No response. Josh chuckled softly making his way up to their badroom. He couldn't wait for Tyler's reaction. He had gotten Tyler a new dress makeup and new heels too. He wanted his pretty little kitten to look nice for his special day._

_"Tyler?" He called out walking into their bedroom a little shocked that he wasn't on the bed naked already._

_"He better not be touching himself in the bathroom..he wants me teach him doesn't he." Josh snickers a bit then opens the bathroom door._

 

_His screams almost crack the windows._


	8. Holding onto you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler wanted to hold onto Josh-forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay exams have been taken...I am on Christmas break!! Lots of new fanfiction and lots of updates..hopefully

"911 _what's your emergency?"_

"PLEASE HELP ME! MY BEST FRIEND HE'S BLEEDING HE'S UNCONSCIOUS I THINK HE CUT HIMSELF!!!"

_"please stay calm sir-we can't understand you."_

Josh couldn't stay calm his boyfriend his best friend was on the ground bleeding unconscious. 

"My best friend! He's bleeding!! Please send help he's DIEING!!!!"

_"Ok what's your address?"_

Josh gives her thier address.

 _"ok_ we're _sending help please remain calm."_

Josh couldn't stay calm. 

He took his shirt off and wrapped it around Tyler's arm as a tourniquet. Hopefully it would stop the bleeding.

_Tyler how could you do this??? Why did you do this? Please don't leave I love you...._

* * *

 

_Tyler woke up in an unusually cold room_

_where am i...is this hell?! Where Josh?? Is Josh here...he's a good boy he wouldn't be here in hell...Hell's not cold._

Tyler soon realized where he was. He remembered what he did.

"JOSH!!!!!!!! I'M SORRY!!!!''

Tyler started screaming Josh's name and bawling his eyes out apologizing.

Several nurses came in and held Tyler down. 

"JOSH I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!"

 

* * *

_He's not dead...he can't be dead._

_Josh paced around the waiting room._

_Tyler is not dead. Get that in your mind Dun!_

_He was getting several looks from people as he started sweating im the rather cold waiting room._

_Tyler is still alive he is still here...he just passed out...that's all._

_Oh but that cut on his arm...and all of the blood everywhere in the bathroom. He probably bled to death while you were gone._

_Josh started to get sick thinking about Tyler being dead and that cut. That **huge** cut on his arm._

_"Excuse me!" Josh ran to the bathroom throwing up starting to panic. He fell on the cold tile floor._

_Stop having a panic attack before you're dead too!_

_But on the other hand you and Tyler will both be in hell, together dead._

_"No Tyler can't be dead." Josh stood up only to get sick again and throw up. The room started spinning and Josh felt lightheaded._

_Tyler can't be dead..he's my EVERYTHING!!" Josh started to feel really sick and really lightheaded then he froze._

_"JOSH!!!!! I'M SORRY!!!!!"_

* * *

"Sir we need you to stay calm!"

Tyler was freaking out as all of these  nurses held him down. 

"JOSH I'M SORRY!!  SORRY SORRY!!" 

_"Who's Josh?"_

  _"I'm not sure"_

One of the nurses face Tyler.

"Tyler who is Josh?"

Tyler looked at her and stopped screaming.

_"He's my **EVERYTHING."**_

The nurses face each other.

"Ok ok..Um what does he look like?"

_"Pink hair."_

"I checked someone into the waiting room with pink hair!" One for the nurses speak up. "Is his last name Dun?"

_Tyler didn't want to lose Josh.  He didn't want to lose his Dun._

"Yes." He pauses. "JOSH I'M SORRY!!! PLEASE I LOVE YOU I'M SORRY!!!!" Tyler started screaming again and crying.

"Go get Josh Dun!!" 

One of the nurses nods then runs out.

* * *

_"Tyler!! That voice I would know it anywhere!!!!!"_

_Josh runs out of the bathroom as everyone is staring down the hall at Tyler's screams._

_"TYLER I'M COMIMG!!!" Josh runs down the hallway following Tyler's voice._

_"Hey you're not supposed to be here!!"_

_Josh didn't care. He followed Tyler's voice before running into a nurse._

_"Sorry but I really need to get to my friend!!"_

_She looked at him._

_"Are you Josh Dun??"_

_"Yes!"_

_"Come on Tyler has been wanting you!" She takes his hand and leads him to the room Tyler is in._

* * *

"I found him!!!"

All of the nurses look up.

"Tyler we found him we found Josh!" 

Tyler looks at Josh speechless.

_"Tyler I am so sorry!"_

He runs to Tyler hugging him.

"No Josh I'm sorry! I love you I didn't do this because of you!!!" Tyler sobbed into him.

"No no shh! Tyler I'm so sorry-I love you." Josh kissed him on the lips. His lips were a little chapped but Josh didn't care.

He was holding onto Tyler forever.

Tyler wanted to hold onto Josh-forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My lips are chapped and faded I will not kiss you....
> 
> Oh wait wrong song sorry.
> 
> I'm other use of you can die from panic attacks..so I was just guessing.


	9. My name is Blurryface and I care what you think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blurryface..he made me do it.

Josh _didn't know why to do with Tyler he still didn't know why he did what he did._

_"Josh...I'm so sorry!"_

_"Tyler it's ok...but why did you do that-how long have you Been doing that??"_

_Tyler looked down._

_"Look at my wrists."_

_Josh looked at them and covered his mouth as tears came to his eyes._

_"I'm sorry."_

_"Tyler why didn't you tell me?"_

_"Because...I didn't want you to get mad at me! I know how much you want me to be perfect for you." Tyler stared sobbing again._

_"Ty....I'm sorry! I don't mean to put a lot of pressure on you..it's just.."_

_Josh wanted Tyler to be perfect because Josh didn't think that he would make it._

_"Also Josh..I didn't do it. **BLURRYFACE** did."_

_Josh looked at Tyler._

_"What is a Blurryface??"_

_"He's-a demon that stalks me-"_

**_HE IS ME_ **

_"He stalks me and..he tries to kill me, for some reason Blurryface wants me dead."_

_Josh looked in disbelief. Deep down he didn't believe Tyler and he couldn't believe that Tyler was lying right to his face._

_"Ok....right when does he come?"_

**_He's part of me._ **

_"Um..when ever you're not around. He knows that you protect me."_

_"Well he has that right."_

_"Don't temp him!!..he'll kill you." Tyler looked down in fear that he-Blurryface would kill Josh then Tyler would be left alone to watch his boyfriend die._

_Josh scoffed._

_"I'd like to see him try."_

_"Josh please!! You don't know what he's capable of!! He's very powerful!"_

_"Sure. What does he even look like?"_

_"Me-"_

_Josh flinched back._

_"I'm not him..."_

**_Yet_ **

_"He looks like me only with black arms, hands and a black neck. His eyes are red he has this evil grin all the time and his voice is **much** deeper than mine or yours..it's like a growl."_

_Tyler closed his eyes having all too vivid visions of him before snapping them back open again._

_"so this Blurryface he looks like you wants to kill you and he's real..?" Josh looks at Tyler._

_"Yes."_

_Tyler looked into Josh's eyes._

_"Josh I love you and I'm really sorry...I don't know why Blurry wants me gone.."_

_"I love you too Ty.." Josh looks at him then looks down._

_I just don't know why you have to lie right to my face._


	10. let it go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler just wants to let it go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came up with this theory yesterday while watching frozen!

Elsa is Blurryface/Tyler. Anna is Josh.

I'm sure you've all seen frozen. I mean _who_ hasn't.

In frozen Elsa just wants to be alone and no one knows about her powers. She wants to be alone so she doesn't hurt Anna or anyone else with her powers.

Anna she doesn't belive Elsa and she thinks that she is just shutting her out of her life..Anna doesn't belive Elsa until she actually sees the magic.

Tyler aka Blurryface is like Elsa. He just wants to be alone so he doesn't hurt anyone with Blurryface especially Josh. He wants to be alone. He tries to  _conceal not feel_ Blurryface. He can't control his "power" just like Elsa. 

Josh is like Anna. He loves Tyler he really does but he doesn't belive this Blurryface bull..he doesn't belive it until he sees it...the hard way.

_Foreshadowing_

Josh meets blurryface??? WTF

 

 

Tyler just wants to  _let it go_

He just wants to let his  _life_ go.

He just wants to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my theory is stupid..but hopefully it helped you understand what the heck is going on in my story


	11. Mental

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler needed help mental help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back...I think

They left the hospital speechless.

"Tyler why did you do it?"

He looked at Josh as he concentrated on the road.

"I told you I didn't... _blurryface_ made me."

"Ummm...right the demon thing made you cut yourself. Tyler I think you need help."

_help?!_

"What..I-I don't need help. I'm fine." Tyler looked down.

"Tyler you blamed your cuts on some demon thing.. not mad at you..you can tell me the truth." Josh looked away from the road.

"Get your eyes back on the road."

"I...I can't with this boy next to me distracting with his _sexiness._

Tyler couldn't help but blush. 

"Oh shut up Josh." He smiled

The drive home was _ok_ but Tyler was still a little offended by the fact that he needed  _help._

"Wow I didn't realize how hot it is in here." They walked in and Josh took his jacket off.

"Yeah..." Tyler kicked his shoes off then yawned.

"Is my little Ty-Ty tired?"

He nodded.

"Ok let's go." Josh picked him up and carried him bridal style to their bedroom. 

It was still the way it was when they left earlier that night. 

"I'll be right back Ty I'm going to the bathroom."

Tyler nodded before remembering that the blood was still on the bathroom floor.

"Ummmm...so I'll just clean..the bathroom real quick.." Josh looked away from him.

"Sorry..."

"Don't be..just don't try and blame that stuff on some made up demon character."

Tyler narrowed his eyes. "Josh he  _is_ real! I'm not making this up! Blurryface is very real and very powerful please don't kid with him.  **He can kill _you._** "

Josh looked at him with bloody towels in his hand. 

"Ok Tyler."

_you need help._


	12. It is help you don't need then it is help you shall get

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I'm dun now
> 
> Oh and speaking of dun i heard that Josh has yellow hair now...WTF

"Tyler wake up."

"Josh...I don't wanna have sex I'm tired still."

"Uh...IM not talking about sex. Come on we're getting you help."

_WHAT?! I DON'T NEED HELP!!!!_

"Help?? I told you  _I don't need help_!"

"Tyler you made up this demon character and cut yourself to prove it...I'm not sure." Josh helped him up.

"You  _FUCKER! I DON'T NEED HELP!!!!_ " Tyler pushed him away.

Josh stood away from him.

"Tyler this is for your own good."

* * *

"Hi I'm Dr.Black but you can call me Jenna."

"Hey.."Tyler mutters not looking at her.

"What's your name?"

Tyler didn't look up and he didn't answer.

"Where's Josh?"

"Was that your other friend?"

He nodded.

"He's out in the waiting room..he really cares about you and he thinks that you need this."

Tyler looked up.

"But I'm not lying blurryface is  _ **real**_."

"Yes Josh told me about this  _Blurryface.."_

 _"_ He is real. He wants me dead...I just don't know why." 

 "look at me." 

His eyes went up but not his head.

"...Josh is not mad at you. If you tell him that  _you_ were cutting yourself he will not be mad. I promise. You don't need to make up some character."

_**I'M NOT MAKING HIM UP!!!!!** _

"BUT HE'S REAL!!!!!!!!"

"take it from me. He won't be mad he cares about you."

_Yeah so does **blurryface.**_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could someone please explain this yellow hair to me please..


	13. Clean clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clean clean gotta get clean for Joshie...
> 
> (Inspired by a fanfiction by joshdungivesmelife)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got inspired by a fanfiction by joshdungivesmelife. It's probably one of my most favorite stories!

"Well Tyler that Jenna lady was very nice wasn't she?"

"No."

"I think that she was. She cares about you almost as much i as do...but i care more." Josh smiled as they drove home.

"No."

"What?"

"No."

"Tyler what's wrong?"

Tyler turned to Josh then grinned.

_a grin almost similar to blurryface's grins_

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WRONG WITH ME!!"

"Tyler quit yelling." Josh said very sternly.

"Make me." He growled.

"Tyler please what is the matter. Why are you acting like this?"

"Because you don't believe me! Blurryface is real yet you think that I am making him up! I wish I was."

"Ok Tyler then where is he? I've never seen him!"

"He doesn't come when  _you're_ around."

"Oh yeah..how ironic. I'm sure that's just something you made up so when I did eventually ask you, you could just say that." Josh glares at him then turns back to the road.

_the rest of the car ride home was rather quiet._

* * *

"You  _really_ think this will work?"

"Yes...I care what you think."

Tyler took the knife from Blurry.

"On your arm.."

He nods the starts to cut himself.

"So-" Tyler pauses in between a hiss. "So you think that I need to get clean-for Josh?"

"Yes..this way and also you need to stop eating. You're getting a bit fat." Blurry scans Tyler up and down his body.

"Uh right." He blushed and looked back at his arm.

"Maybe you should try your left arm?"

"Uhhh"

"Yes good ahead. You should try new things..plus don't you wanna get clean for Josh?"

"Yes...but he doesn't care. He thinks I'm lying about you."

"Trust me I'm real  ** _aren't I_**?" Blurry gets awkwardly close to Tyler as blood drips onto his shirt.

"Yes. You are real-and you care."

"Precisely. Plus Josh he just doesn't like your appearance. Gotta get clean for his love again."

Tyler nodded then gets back to cutting. 

_Clean clean..gotta get clean for Josh. He won't love me till I'm all cleaned up. I'll get clean for my Joshie._


	14. Alone time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I..just want some alone time Josh. Alright?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This gets a bit...interesting
> 
> Brendons a bad boy....

It had been a week and half after  _the incident_. 

"Hey Tyler so...we don't have much booked for today so you just wanna chill?" Josh walked into their bedroom where Tyler was sitting on the bed painting his nails.

"Umm...no."

"Wait what?"

"No...thanks. If you don't mind I would like some  _alone time_."

"Alone..time?"

"Yeah. I...just want some alone time Josh, alright?"

"Oh yeah yeah..sure." Josh looked down. "Um..I'll be back later."

"Thanks."

"Sure." He huffed then grabbed his keys and head out.

* * *

 "So wait this is the same Tyler I'm friends with at work...?"

"Yes...Brendon."

"Does he know that  _you_ know  _me_?" He leaned back in his chair.

"No..I pretended to not know who you were..."

"Joshuah Dun. Tsk Tsk." 

"Shut up Brendon. I've known you way longer than Tyler has." 

"I know you have. Tyler's an ok dude...he talks about you a lot."

"Really.." Josh looks at him then takes a shot. He didn't drink often but with his situation...

"He really  _really_ likes you. But he says that he's kind of pissed that you don't believe him with the whole  _blurryface_ thing."

Josh looked at Brendon.

"Really he's talking to you about that??"

"Yeah..but just between you and me I don't really believe him. You're good for getting him help cuz.." Brendon coughed. "He needs it."

"Finally some one who agrees with me!"

Brendon smiles then signaled the bartender to bring over more shots.

* * *

 

Josh was weak when it came to alcohol. He would get drunk after 2 or 3 shots.

He had 4.

"Josh..so you don't have much plans for today right?"

"Naw...."

"So why don't we go to _my_ place." Brendon smiled.

Josh looked at him then answered rather drunk.

"Mmmm....I dunno. It's too far away."

"Well take an uber there."

"Will it be fun..?"

"Yes **very.** _Especially when we get to **my** house." _Brendon smiled and took Josh's hand.

 "Ok fine..let's go Brendon." Josh got up and swayed as they went to the front and called an uber. They got in and head on out to Brendon's place.

"Joshuah you're gonna have a lot of fun tonight."

* * *

 

Tyler hung out alone back at home.

_he's been gone for 5 hours..._

"That he has."

"Ahh!!!" Tyler flinched back.

"Hello Tyler."

"Dude! Blurryface..you almost made me spill the nail Polish on the bed! Josh would've killed me."

"Ah he can do my job for me."

"Why are you here?"

"Aren't you lonely here?"

"No..I told Josh to leave." Tyler looked back at his nails.

"Just so you could paint your nails?"

"What??"

"To be honest they don't look that Good...you should've done..pink."

Tyler looked at his currently black and blue nails.

"Everything right now is black and blue.."

Tyler sighed as Blurry vanished leaving him alone for now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow almost 1k hits tysm!!! Ilysm ^-^
> 
> Also ya like my forest fic reference? Oh no, I need to leave ok..bye I'm dun


	15. We stay in place Cause we're terrified of what's around the corner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I scream you scream we all scream Cause we're terrified of what's around the corner 
> 
> We stay in place Cause we don't wanna lose our lives
> 
> So let's think of something better...
> 
> Down in the forest.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forest fic triggers here....
> 
> This isn't exactly like the forest fic but...some lyrics from forest are in here

"Ah!"

Josh shot up awake in bed. 

But it wasn't  _his bed_. 

''Oh HELL NO." He looked to right of him and saw Brendon passed out.

Josh looked down at himself and nearly screamed. 

_why in the hell am I naked in Brendons bed and it's morning_

"No...no no no.." He got up and started walking around the room. 

"Did Brendon  _rape me_??" Josh didn't know if that what it was. Though he never remembered allowing Brendon to 'play' with him. He was drunk...They both were.

_Tyler OH SHIT!!_

"I told him I would be back later not a whole  _day_ later!!" Josh grabbed his clothes off the floor and threw them on. He didn't have time to wonder what in the hell Brendon did  _with_ or to him. 

But they were going to have a  _long_ talk later on.

* * *

"I thought you said that he was going to be back  _later_." 

"I did say that...I have no clue where he is..I called him like 6 times last night, no answer." Tyler sat on the bathroom floor staring at the bloody knife. Him and Blurryface had  _quite_ a night.

"Mmm should I kick his ass for you?" He grinned.

"No...I'll do it myself that bastard."

Tyler got up and walked back into his bedroom and grabbed his phone. 

"I swear if he doesn't answer.."

* * *

Josh was speeding down the freeway trying not to get caught and trying not to get into a car crash. Then he heard his phone ring.

_Oh shit Tyler!  Play it cool man you didn't do anything bad...._

_You just had sex with your boyfriend's friend..._

"Hello?"

"HELLO?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU JOSH?!"

_Yeah I already fucked up_

"i-I had car trouble I'm a little late.."

Tyler sneered on the other end.

"A  _little_ late?"

"Tyler I'm sorry I'm on my way home now."

"Uh huh ok fine." He hung up and stared at Blurry. "This fucker is lying."

* * *

Josh arrived after what seemed an eternity to him.

"Tyler I'm home!" He rushed up the stairs to thier bedroom where hehe saw Tyler facing him with crossed arms.

"Where were you?"

"Ty I told you...I had car trouble."

"Josh I'm gonna ask you one more time.  _Where the fuck were you_?"

He looked down tears almost coming to his eyes.

"Ok..the truth is that I went to a bar...and Brendon was there.."

"Wait Brendon  _my_ friend?" Tyler's jaw dropped.

"He was my friend first. I've known him way longerthan you have..."

"Well then why did you act like you didn't know him?"

"Because...you had actually made a friend and I didn't want me being his friend first stop you from being his friend."

"Whatever..pathetic. More excuses and lies." Tyler rolled his eyes scoffing.

Josh narrowed his eyes.

_You can't even the one talking about LYING AND EXCUSES!_

"So basically were out with my friend having a good time?"

"You're the one who wanted fucking 'alone time'!" 

Tyler froze.

"Well you're the one who's been pissing me for the last two weeks!!! You don't believe me you think  _I'm_ lying I'm other Josh. I'm not lying and then you just go out and steal my friends-"

"He raped me."

"Wait what?"

Josh looked down. 

"Brendon he raped me..I got drunk then I went back to his house and I think he fucked me."

Tyler's face went from upset to surprised and worried. 

"That's why I was late...I had really wanted to come back here last night.. When I woke up this morning I was worried  _sick_ about you..."

"Josh-im...sorry. I..don't know what to do i didn't know." Tyler bit his lip and looked down.

"Tyler...the reason why I don't believe you is because I can't believe that some demon is stalking you and trying to kill you! Your life is awesome! You have friends family you are outgoing and loveable!" Josh was crying now into his hands. 

"Josh im sorry you want me to be perfect but..I'm not I'm sorry. "

"Tyler I'm scared for you. If I die who is going to take care of you, comfort you love you??"

Tyler's jaw dropped a bit.

"Josh why are you talking about dieing???? You have your whole life ahead of you!"

''I don't know.....! I just don't seem happy I mean you are awesome your life is good my life is shit."

"Josh you are perfect you have an awesome life."

"Tyler I got  _RAPED._ " 

He looked down.

"I got raped by someone who was my friend for years someone who is your friend Ty I don't want Brendon near you!!"

"Josh if he tries to rape me I can fight back."

"I'm just scared!"

"Of what?" Tyler came near Josh and cuddled him.

"Of everything. Of what's to come! I'm terrified of what's around the corner!" He bawled his eyes out intoTyler's shirt.

"Josh I'm here....I'm terrified too...but I'll be with you the whole way. We both day in place." Tyler wiped Josh's face off.

"We stay in place Cause we don't wanna lose our lives..."

"Yes. We will stay in place."

"Tyler I'm so sorry for not believeing you."

"Its ok."

"Tyler.." Josh looked at him. 

"Yes?"

"Before Brendon raped me I saw him." He bit his lip looking down.

Tyler looked at Josh and was a bit confused.

"I'm terrified because I saw  _ **blurryface**_. It was horrible I'm scared he's gonna come back!"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for that
> 
> Also I am
> 
> T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D


	16. I care what you think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh saw Blurryface..it was ugly
> 
> Also Brendon didn't RAPE Josh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1k hits WHHAAAATTT??!?! thank you so much!!!! I love all of you!!!

"ok _Josh We're here."_

_The uber arrived at what was Brendons house._

_"This is your house???"_

_"Uh huh. The one and only." Brendon and drunk Josh went to the growth porch and he unlocked the door._

_"Woah....!!! This is amazing." Josh looked in awe. The house was way bigger than Josh and Tyler's house._

_"Come on let's go to **my** room." _

_Brendon walked him up the stairs._

_"Josh you wait here on my bed I'll be right back." Brendon smiled and then walked out the room._

_Josh yawned then laid back on the bed._

_"Josh you really should've believed Tyler...I'm real."_

_"Wait what?"_

_"Hello Joshuah William Dun."_

_He snapped awake and saw a demon resembling Tyler with a black neck hands and arms. The thing's red Eyes shot at Josh._

_"Bl-Blurr-''_

_"B-b-B YES IT'S ME BLURRYFACE."_

_"I thought you were made up!"_

_"Of course you did dumb ass."_

_Josh backed away as Blurry came closer to him._

_"Damn....Tyler was right when he said you looked good."_

_"What...good?"_

_"Mmm look at this ass."_

_"Get away from me!!!" Josh kicked at Blurry._

_"No no no Joshuah that was a bad decision." He got closer to Josh and grabbed him by the waist._

_"Let go of me!!!"_

_"Come on this won't hurt-unless you want it to."_

_"I'll get Brendon!!!"_

_"Oh no no no. Brendons passed out thanks to me." Blurry grinned grabbing Josh harder._

  _"let go of me!!!!"_

_"Josh we can do this the easy way or the hard way." He started making his way down Josh's midsection._

_"Please stop!!! Stop!!!"Josh was crying as Blurry's bloody hands traced his pelvis._

_"Josh I told you I won't hurt you."_

_"Stop!!!" Josh slapped Blurry then pulled away from him, bloody hand prints on his shirt._

_"JOSHUAH DUN!!!!!" Blurryface grabbed Josh by the neck. "I said that we could do this the easy way but nope...I guess you chose the hard way."_

_Josh looks into his red eyes._

_"I'm not scared of you."_

_"Oh I get that."_

_"Try me bitch."_

_Blurry grinned slapping Josh across the face leaving 3 Gaping wounds on Josh's face and more blood on Blurry's fingers._

_"Mmm I love the way blood tastes."_

_Josh stood in the corner crying but trying not to let him see._

_"Dun I know you're crying. Just let me do this. I won't hurt you no more. I care what you think."_

_Blurry stood Josh up then put his hands on Josh's pants slowly pulling them down._

_"Please...don't." Josh closed his eyes tears leaking from them._

_"I'm doing this Josh."_

_Blurry crouched down in front or Josh who was now bottomless and slowly put his mouth around Josh's cock._

_"No no...fuck....no....fuck...." Josh closed his eyes. He was disgusted by the fact that he was **enjoying** this._

_"I know you like this Josh. I know you do." Blurry's tounge caressed his cock making Josh want to cum._

_"Fuck...."_

_"Do it Josh. Now."_

_Josh was hesitant at first by did by fear when he saw Blurry's eyes shoot up at him._

_"Mmmmm damn that's good. My turn."_

_"What???"_

_Blurry shoved Josh away then pulled his own pants down revealing himself...._

_"Oh **shit**." Josh was how hard he was._

_"Suck slut. Now."_

_"No."_

_"What did you just say?"_

_"I said no!! I let you do that much-"_

_"JOSHUAH DUN I WILL KILL YOU RIGHT NOW THEN I WILL FUCK YOUR DEAD BODY. THAT'S HARD WAY DO YOU WANT THAT?!"_

_"No-" Josh looked into his red Eyes then Blurry let go of his grip on Josh's  neck leaving purple bruses._

_"Let's try again. SUCK SLUT. NOW!"_

_Josh put his mouth around Blurry's cock hating every bit of it. He wanted to throw up when he heard him moaning._

_"Oh fuck yeah...fuck fuck!!! Now I know why Tyler is gay! Fuck this feels good!!!" Blurry kept moaning then came with out warning._

_"Uhg..." Josh made a face and he just held it in his mouth._

_"Swallow."_

_He stood there holding it._

_"Josh my patience is real thin SWALLOW BEFORE I FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!!!" Blurry grabbed Josh's shirt ripping it some more._

_Josh swallowed-also in fear. He hated the taste. It was sour he wanted to throw up._

_"Good Dun....now get on the bed I'm fucking that ass."_

_Josh slowly nodded tears falling from his eyes._

_Blurry what don't you just kill me already I'd rather be dead._

_"Oh you want me to kill you ok!" Blurry leapt at Josh._

_"Ah!!!" He flinched in fear._

_"Dun I can hear your thoughts to be honest I'm going very easy on you, you should be thankful. Now that ass,"_

_"Josh slowly got on the bed and positioned himself for Blurry._

_"Mmm this is going to be good."_

* * *

 

_After what seemed an eternity to Josh Blurry was finally done 'playing' with him._

_"Josh you are very **very** stubborn. You're lucky to have lived..but it made it more fun." Blurry grinned then vanished._

_Josh was left on the floor, dirt beat up and bloody. He started crying._

_"TYLER I'M SO SORRY!!! WHY DIDN'T I BELIEVE YOU?! HOW DO YOU GO THROUGH THIS?!"_

_Josh paused when he saw Blurry's back in front of him._

_"Oh yeah also if you tell anyone I will kill you the night you tell them. Think Im fooling try me BITCH."_

_He left again and Josh was speechless. A single tear fell down his face._

_**don't tell a fucking soul living or dead or YOU'LL BE dead.**  
_


	17. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tyler I've gotta confess something to you.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This reminds me of that song called confessions...

"Tyler I'm scared." Josh rocked in his arms.

"I know...I'm scared too." He bit his lip looking down.

"Um about Brendon.."

"Please don't mention him...."

"No..but.." Josh paused. 

_**don't tell another soul living or dead or YOU'LL BE dead!** _

"but what Josh??" Tyler looked at him with his chocolate brown eyes.

"Brendon didn't RAPE me....Blurryface did." 

"Wait wait WHAT?!"

Josh looked behind him in fear.

"Blurryface did and he said not to tell anyone else...or he'll kill me!!" 

Tyler looked at Josh in awe as he started crying again

"Tyler I'm going to die!!!"

"Woah Woah hold up! So  _blurryface_ raped you?" Tyler looked at Josh.

"Yes..."

"So then what was the whole Brendon thing?"

"..I dunno...i just put it on him so Blurry wouldn't kill me but it doesn't matter anymore. I'm going to die tonight."

"So Brendon never raped you...but Blurryface did and that's why you were late?" Tyler sighed.

"Yes...Tyler I really am sorry that I didn't believe you!! How could I have  _not_ believed you when you have to go through  _that_??" Josh looked away eyes puffy from crying.

"Josh....I've never been raped by him."

 He looked up and stopped crying 

" _what???_ "

"I said-he's never raped me before...I don't know why he did that to you..but it's my fault." Tyler looked down. "I'm sure of it."

"How what did you do??"

"Well...I would talk about you a lot near him..."

"Ty it's not your fault. You have nothing to do with this."

 "Yes I do! I talked about you so... he got ideas...."

Josh stood up in front of Tyler.

"It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault."

"Dude you're gonna die tonight because of me!!!" Tyler got tears in his eyes.

Josh looked down.

_Oh yeah_

"can't we hide?"

"Josh you can't  _hide_ from  **Blurryface**. He'll find you. He will find you."

" _Oh gee thanks that really helps Tyler._ "

"Well it's not  _my_ fault you confessed.."

"Yeah But its not my fault I got raped either." Josh looks away sighing.

Tyler pauses.

"Why  _did_ you tell me?"

"Because...I didn't want you to go off and chew out Brendon for doing something as serious as this when he never did...I feel bad for even putting it on him."

"But now you might die!"

"Yeah..but at least you and Brendon will still be friends..you'll have him."

"BUT I DON'T WANT HIM!! I WANT YOU JOSH!!" Tyler wrapped his arms around Josh sobbing.

"And I I don't want you leave you Tyler." Josh closed his eyes silently crying himself.

_**you should have NEVER told him Josh...now SOMEONE gets to die.** _

**_But...I'll spare you..Tyler on the other hand..._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's official Josh's hair IS yellow...you pulled it off very well Lemon Dun.


	18. You're better off dead anyways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tyler you're better off dead anyways."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect this to be a hit...but thanks ^-^

The two boys couldn't focus all night. 

"Tyler I'm going to die!"

"Josh how do you know exactly that he's going to kill you..he probably just said that to shut you up." 

" _Really Tyler?_ "

"He seems like one to do so." Tyler shurgs.

"Tyler I can't sleep I'm not going to.."

"Ok...Josh is love you I care about you but I'm getting a feeling that he's  _not_ going to kill you."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better." Josh crossed his arms looking down.

"Josh...I don't  _lie_ to you, do i?"

He looked up at his boyfriend.

"No...."

* * *

"I'm  _still_ not sleeping Ty-just to be safe."

"Ok....maybe he doesn't come when we're around together. He likes to target us alone?"

"That's a possibility..so maybe he won't come." Josh smiled a little.

"Yeah...good night Josh-I love you." Tyler pecked him on the lips before falling asleep. 

* * *

_Josh was awake all night. He mostly laid in bed staring at the ceiling silently crying or watched 'sex in the city on his phone, sure he didn't really like that show but he needed something , **anything** to get his mind off of Blurry._

* * *

"NOOO!!!!" 

"JOSH ARE YOU OK?!"

"HE GOT YOU TOO?!"

TYLER stared at Josh.

" _What???_ "

"I-I feel asleep BLURRYFACE GOT ME AND KILLED US!" Josh started sobbing.

"Dude...usually you're the one to calm me down...you're alive Josh! We both are!"

Josh couldn't believe it. 

"Wait so Blurry didn't kill is...then what was  _that_?"

"Josh I told you he probably just did that to shut you up...he's done it to me several times."

"But don't you get scared?!"

"Ehhh..you get used to it." Tyler looked down.

* * *

 

"So then I woke up and Josh was gone! I texted him several times..but no response is he ok?"

Tyler looked away from from the Christmas items he was stocking. It was only December 15th..days go by fast.

"Yeah..Josh is ok. He was just worried about me." He pauses. 

"Oh I get that..."

"Not to sound selfish."

"Its fine. He cares about you. A lot." Brendon smiled and then went back to shelving his items.

* * *

 

"Christmas must've came early because boss is letting us taking a break!!!"

"Really?!"

"Yeah!''

"Yes!!" Tyler threw his items on the floor and climbed down.

"Com'on before he changes his mind." They both run to the back break area.

"Man I'm so glad he's letting us take this...I've been holding my pee for an hour and a half."

Brendon stares at him.

"You go take care of that." He smiles pushing Tyler.

"I will-I am!"

Tyler walks in other the bathroom and unzipped his pants.

"Ahhhhhhh...fuck." 

He finished up then went to wash his hands. 

"Tyler long time  **no see**."

"What the fu-" He looked in the mirror and almost had a heart attack. "BLURRYFACE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"The batter question would be what are  _you_ doing here?"

"I'm working you bastard!!" 

"Yes that you are...but what are you doing alive?"

"I thought you would be asking Josh that-" Tyler covered his mouth.

"Oh I already know that he told you."

"..and I know that you  _raped_ him you dirty slut!!"

"Mmm...I know what I did. He definitely told you. Is it really worth it?"

Tyler makes a weird face.

"Is  _what_ worth it?"

"Staying alive. Is it really worth it? We all know that you're staying alive to protect Joshuah here."

Tyler looked down. That  _was_ true.

"I mean you were alive but you still couldn't protect him from me-''

"FUCK OFF BLURRY!!!!!" Tyler leapt at him tears flowing from his eyes.

"Ok...fucking off-I will do." He grinned vanishing.  

Tyler walked back in other the break room and found Brendon.

"Hey Tyler..Uh what happened.

"Nothing..."

"Your eyes are red-were you crying?" He looks in other Tyler's eyes.

"No I wasn't..just allergies." Tyler sniffes and wipes his face.

"Oh.... Tyler you can tell me anything."

"I know Brendon." He looked down.

**Tyler you're better off dead anyways.**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a
> 
> I'm not going to start with that. If you want Christmas go read my Christmas fic.
> 
> I hope you've been good this year....*insert Lenny face here* 
> 
> I know I have...if you take out me cutting myself having suicidal thoughts TRYING to commit suicide several times this year.....
> 
> *sighs* 2016 has been a great year....


	19. And I'm coming for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm coming for you Tyler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry LATE Christmas!!! here's another chapter for you alllllllll :)
> 
> Well we still have new years don't we

"Tyler..I guess you were right he's not coming..."

Tyler looked up.

"You admit that a week after I told you about it."

"Sorry Ty-don't be like that. It's the holiday time." Josh smiled and poked his boyfriend.

"Yeah..it's gonna be horrendous at Walmart. Everyone's gonna there getting their holiday shopping on." Tyler cringed at the thought. 

"Well that's holiday shopping season."

"Josh can I quit this job for Christmas?"

"No."

" _Please_??"

"Ok fine but that's the only thing you're getting for Christmas."

"What that's not fair!" Tyler pouted.  

"Sorry you can't always win."

"Joshie..."

"I love you Ty-Ty." 

"Me too Josh." 

* * *

To Tyler the holiday season seemed to roll around kinda fast but it couldn't leave soon enough. He wasn't a _grinch_ but working at Walmart one of the busiest places during the holidays wasn't exactly  _fun or good_ to him.

"Tyler"

"What?"

"Tyler"

"Whaaattt??"

"Look at me."

"No,what?"

"TYLER!"

"Brendon what the fuck do you want?"

"What was wrong the other day?"

Tyler narrowed his eyes.

" _Really?"_

"You can stock and talk at the same time. Now what happened?"

"Brendon I told you then and I'll ell you now. Nothing. I'm fine." Tyler rolled his eyes and got back to shelving his items.

"Tyler...please tell me. I'm not asking to be nosey I'm asking to help.

"Look...Brendon I  _really_ don't want to talk about it. Plus you may not get it."

"Try me." He looked at Tyler and crossed his arms.

"Nope. I'm not telling you. I'm sorry."

"Please?  _somthing_."

"Ok all I'll say is this:  _I am not as fine as I seem._ "

* * *

 

"Tsk tsk tsk. Tyler you are a bad friend."

"Well I told him to fuck off. I wasn't going to tell him a thing."

"Wow. You are a good boy..unlike Joshuah who can't keep his mouth closed for his life." Blurry paused. "Where is he anyways?"

"Out."

 "Out where?"

"Places."

"Tyler don't try and hide it. I'm coming for you. And like you said (AND I QUOTE): 

_"you can't hide from Blurryface. He will find you and he will kill you."_

Tyler looked down and bit his lip. 

"Joshuah can't protect you anymore. He's  _terrified_ of me. I'm coming for you Tyler."

**_I'm coming._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah sorry for the wait frends. But that was the chapter. 
> 
> BLURRYFACE IS COMING.


	20. Happy holidaze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler now officially hates the holidays. 
> 
> Oh and walmart 
> 
> And maybe Brendon....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok ok im a little late....

"I hate the holidays."

"What?"

"I said I hate the holidays." Tyler storm into the living room coming home from work.

"Tyler what happened?"

"Nothing."

"Tyler?"

He looked at Josh.

"I hate everything. I hate the holidays in hate people. I hate life!'

"What?? Tyler tell me what happened!!!" Josh stood in front of his looking at his baby boy who was crying.

"Those people at Walmart. The shoppers they are so fucking rude!!!"

"Tell me. what did they do?"

* * *

_"Excuse me do you know where this item is?"_

_Tyler looked at the lady's phone._

_"Umm..I'm other exactly sure but I think I may be in the toy section or near it."_

_"How are you not sure? You work here."_

_"I'm sorry. Let me ask my fri-someone else. BRENDON!!!"_

_Brendon came from around the corner with boxes in his hands._

_"Yo what's up Ty?"_

_" **yo??** You guys are so unprofessional." The lady scoffed._

_Tyler grit his teeth looking at the lady then Brendon._

_"She needs help finding this item."_

_Brendon squint his eyes looking at the item._

_"Oh those....Hatchalmals yeah we're all sold out. Those are really popular this season."_

_"Really? So first you don't know where you have it at, then you address your co-worker 'yo' then you don't even have the product." The lady glares at him and Brendon._

_"Ma'am I'm very sorry. We can see when we order more then book your name under it." Tyler looked at her._

_"In screw it. You screw you. This is why I go to target during the holidays. They are **so** much better than this shithole." The lady rolled her eyes and walked off._

_"Well fuck you too." Brendon said through gritted teeth clenching his fists._

_"Why why why did you make me work here Josh??"_

_"JOSEPH URIE!!!!!"_

_Tyler and Brendon both turned around to see their boss red faced standing next to that lady._

_"Ma'am I am **terribly sorry** about these two. Here's your item. Have a happy holiday."_

_"Thank you **so much**." She shoots her eyes directly at Brendon and Tyler then walks off with a smirk._

_"YOU TWO!! I AM JUST SO FED UP WITH YOU TWO!!!"_

_"What did we do wrong????" Tyler looked down._

_"You guys were being very lazy and unhelpful to her."_

_"I didn't know if we had the item boss."_

_"Tyler you should know."_

_Yeah that's what she said_

_"Wait I thought we didn't have anymore where'd she get that one from?" Brendon looked at his boss confused._

_"Turns out Brendon we had some."_

_"No"_

_"Yes. Did you go look?"_

_"This morning I di-"_

_"JUST NOW. WHEN SHE WAS HERE DID YOU LOOK?"_

_"No.." Brendon glared down._

_"I really am fed up with you two. I really am. If it weren't the holiday time I would fire BOTH OF you." The boss looks at them. "But it is. So you're here to stay...unfortunately."_

_"UNFORTUNATELY IS RIGHT." Tyler snapped._

_"Preach! Tyler Preach!"_

_"Ok you're fired."_

_"WHAT???"_

_I said YOU'RE **FIRED**!!!!! GET OUT! LEAVE IF IT'S SOOOOOO UNFORTUNATE!!" _

_Brendon and Tyler looked at each both trying not to cry in front of their boss shoppers and other co-workers._

_"No..this was my only job! I can't pay my rent I'll lose my home!" Brendon ran his hands through his hair stressed._

_"JOSH IS GOING TO KILL ME."_

* * *

"JOSH I'M SO SORRY!!" Tyler sobbed into his shirt.

"No no! It's ok..I'm glad you left actually."

"What??"

"Brendon had been working there way longer than you and I knew about your boss..even before he was your boss." Josh looked down. "I'm sorry for making you work there."

Tyler looked down.

_so you knew about this ass hole the **whole** fucking time but you still made me work there? Un fucking believeable._

Tyler didn't have time to be mad at Josh. He had to find another job.

"I'm sorry Tyler."

"Whatever it's fine. But now I'm jobless and Brandon's gonna lose his home..because of me." 

Josh looked at Tyler.

"He..could live here.. "

"WHAT?"

"I said..he could live here-just untill he gets another job." Josh sighed looking away.

Yeah Brendon was his friend but he still didn't he rust him even after that whole  **Blurryface-rape-Brendon-didn't do-it-I-just-put-it-on-him** thing." What if he tried to rape Josh. What if he did something bad to either of them.

_what if he finds out about Blurryface._

"look Tyler I know you may not like it but Brendon is my-OUR friend. We have to help him."

"Yeah..."

"He would do the same for us."

"I guess so.." Tyler looked down. 

_I'm terrified..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is getting good. My next chapter will probably be a Christmas chapter. Ok so I'm late so WHAT


	21. I hate the holidays...and Brendon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DON'T WANT BRENDON COMING IN AND RUINING MY CHRISTMAS!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tyler is a selfish little grinch
> 
> In this fanfiction right now. In real life he's very generous. 
> 
> Also one of my fanfictions hado 420 hits...
> 
> Also sorry for the super later update. I've been working on other fanfictions and I start school tomorrow.
> 
> Fuck fuck fuck

"No no Josh..you can't."

"No Brendon it's fine. We're inviting you."

"I can't. I think k I have enough money to get me... _kicked out on Christmas day_." Brendon groaned over the phone.

"Brendon come on. You can stay untill you get back on your feet. Me and Tyler are fine with it. Right Tyler?" Josh looked at him.

"Meh."

"Yeah we're fine."

"Well..ok I'll be over tomorrow. Thanks you guys are awesome." Brendon hung up.

"This sucks."

"TYLER!"

"Why does he have to come over  _here??_ "

"Because we're his friends."

"Why can't he find somewhere else to live?"

Josh paused for a bit.

"Remember when you came to visit me in LA a few years back before we lived together."

"Yes..."

"Remember when you were like 'hey could I stay at the your place Josh' but I said 'actually there's a lot of nice hotels here' and you got really pissed?"

"I still am."

"That's how Brendon may be if we don't let him stay."

"Yeah But he didn't ask to stay here." Tyler rolled his eyes.

"No but he could really want to. Tyler we're his friends we need to help him." Josh looked at Tyler.

"But...I thought we were just going to spend Christmas with only me and you together."

"What..?"

"I only wanted Christmas to be with me and you." Tyler looked down almost having tears in his eyes.

"Tyler we had last Christmas together. Now it's time to let Brendon share with us."

"BUT I DON'T WANT TO SHARE! I DON'T WANT BRENDON COMING IN AND RUINING MY CHRISTMAS!!" 

Josh looked at Tyler in disbelief.

"Tyler I can't believe you."

"No no i ment OUR CHRISTMAS. I only it to be me and you." 

"Tyler....I cannot believe you." He shook his head and walked out the room.

_i..I didn't mean it like that..._

* * *

"good Job Tyler."

"I didn't mean it like that Blurry!"

"Of course you didn't you never did but Josh took it like  _that._

"Why are you even here. It's Friday."

"Its also two days before Christmas."

"And..." Tyler looked at Blurry.

"I decided to give you your gift early. Merry ACTUAL Christmas Tyler Joseph." Blurry grinned and handed him an  _extremely_ sharp blade.

"Whaa.."

"Good ahead use it. I'd be honored."

Tyler held the blade in his hand.

"Josh really is mad that I lost my job."

"Well...I don't know about that but he has Brendon. He doesn't need you."

"But..he said were just  _friends_ Blurry."

"Yes he did say that but soon it'll be 'oh..Tyler I hope you understand. Brendon he's just so much more... _ **better**_..'."

"Yeah he is...in a way." Tyler looked down.

"You're better off dead Tyler. Josh has Brendon. You'll be fine in hell with me." Blurry grinned. "Now come on use the blade."

Tyler sighs then slowly glides it down his arm re-opening old cuts and making new ones. 

_thank God it's Friday cause Fridays will Always be better than Sundays Cause Sundays are my sucide days_

* * *

Saturdays have no effect on Tyler really. Usually they're the days when him and Josh have morning sex which is Tyler's personal favorite. Nighttime sex is overrated.

Sometimes Tyler would be so excited for morning sex that he couldn't sleep all night. But Josh told him that if he didn't get to sleep he would get nothing.

Today he got nothing.

"Good morning love."

Tyler rubbed his eyes waking up next to Josh.

"Morning.. " He smiled. "Joshie..?"

"Yes?"

"Can we have...morning sex?"

Josh smiled and looked into his beautiful boyfriend's eyes.

"Tyler I would  **love** to but we have...company..over and I don't think you want him hearing us fuck."

"I don't think he'd want to hear that." 

"Exactly...maybe another time." Josh got up and stretched.

_fuck. Josh looks so fucking good in the morning....please I just want his dick in my ass._

"PLEASE JOSH???"

"Tyler I told you we have  _company._ "

_we have Brendon._

"another time Ok?"

"Sure another time."

* * *

 "Where's Tyler at?"

"I'm not sure.." Josh looked at Brendon then at the floor.

"I'll go see if I can find him." Brendon goes upstairs and into Josh's and Tyler's bathroom.

"Tyler you in there?"

" _Fuccckkkkkkkkk!!!!_ " Tyler growled putting the blade in his jacket pocket.

"YES BRENDON I AM I HERE."

"Oh ok..! Breakfast is ready-whenever you're ready. I'm not rushing you though. Take your time." 

"Ok. Goodbye."

"I won't tell Josh." He smirks then walks away.

_does this fucker really think I'm masturbating???_

* * *

 "I'm here guys..." Tyler slowly walked down the stairs.

"Tyler where were you??"

"Ummm getting ready..."

Brendon winked and smiled.

Tyler glared then sat down at the table.

"How was your sleep Tyler?"

"Fine."

"Fine?" Josh looked at Tyler.

"Yeah only fine."

"Oh...well hopefully you feel good because we're doing lots of fun things for the holidays."

"I can't wait!" Brendon laughed looking at Josh.

"Same Brendon! This holiday will special."

"How?"

"Cause you're here Brendon."

Tyler's jaw slightly dropped as he looked at Brendon.

"Thanks...I'm really glad that you guys let me in. You guys are the best friends."

* * *

 

"So do you guys do anything special on Christmas eve?"

"Yeah we do. We make cookies and watch holiday movies."

"Its a lotta fun." Tyler looked up.

"That sounds good." 

"Oh and every year we put the star on the tree right before we go to bed on Christmas eve night." Josh smiled.

"Why Christmas eve?"

"So it can shine it's brightest tonight."

"Ohh that's really cool."

"I know. Tonight were gonna light it."

Tyler looked at Josh and Brendon.

"Yeah...every year we do it. Josh puts me on his shoulders and I light it." Tyler smiles and little.

"Oh wow...that's really cool." Brendon smiled. "I don't normally have any traditional things..I do."

"Well maybe you can." Josh smiled.

* * *

 

Josh took the cookies out of the oven trying not to burn himself.

"Need help there Dun?" 

"Yeah Brendon thanks." 

"Of course." Brendon smiled taking the cookies from Josh.

Tyler cleaned up from dinner and sat some things out for Christmas morning tomorrow.

"Hey Josh when are we going to light the star?"

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot." Josh chewed on a cookie walking towards Tyler.

"Hey Brendon could you get the star? It's in the garage. Right on top of the box."

"Sure!" Brendon goes out to the garage.

"Josh....I'll admit that maybe having Brendon over isn't so bad after all." Tyler looked at Josh.

"I'm gold you warmed up to him." Josh pecked Tyler on the forehead just as Brendon came back in.

"Got it."

"Thanks Brendon."

"No problem. I'm happy to help." Brendon smiled.

"So am I gonna get on your shoulders now?"

"Actually..." Josh paused. "Brendons gonna do it this time."

"WHAT?!" Tyler screamed.

"No no..I wouldn't want to break tradition." Brendon looked at Tyler 

"Yeah!  _I'm_ the one who always does it!" 

"Tyler  _ROBERT._ " Josh scolded him. "We are going to let Brendon do it. You did it last year. You do it every year!"

"YEAH EVERY YEAR IT WAS JUST YOU AND ME! UNTILL YOU JUST LET BRENDON COME OVER HERE AND RUIN EVERYTHING!!!!"

Brendon looked at Tyler hurt.

" _You didn't mean that."_

"TYLER LEAVE."

"YEAH I'LL FUCKING LEAVE. THANKS FOR RUINING MY CHRISTMAS BRENDON! I MENT IT." Tyler pauses steaming mad. "I HATE YOU JOSH." 

Josh looked at Tyler red mad.

"Sometimes I wish I never met you Tyler. I do so much for you but once it's time to do something for someone else you get all mad." 

"You don't let someone else do your  _tradition._ "

"LEAVE."

"YEAH I'M GOING!" Tyler stormed to the door grabbing his keys. "HAVE A MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS." 

They door slammed then Josh and Brendon were left with an unlit tree and burning cookies.

_I hate you Josh. And i can't fucking stand you Brendon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Heathens behind the scenes*
> 
> P:why are you and Josh arriving separate today?  
> T:because..I was on my way here and I don't have a place here in LA and I know Josh does so I was expecting him to let me stay at his place but he said 'actually there's a lot of nice hotels here'  
> P:so your mad that you couldn't stay at his place?  
> T:yeah..I was hoping to stay there so we're in a fight. 
> 
> Me: Tyler we all know why you wanted to stay at Josh's house. You dirty little...
> 
> When I first saw that video that's exactly what went through my mind lmao 
> 
> The Heathens video will never be the same to me


	22. Somebody catch my breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm a Goner 
> 
> Somebody catch my breath 
> 
> I'm a Goner 
> 
> Somebody catch my breath 
> 
> I wanna be known by you 
> 
> I wanna be known by you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok seriously I'm SO SO SORRY for this late as heck update
> 
> BEYOND SORRY :"( PLEASE DON'T HATE
> 
> This chapter is super long so I hope it makes up

_Tyler got in his car slamming the door shut. He jammed the keys in the ignition and started the engine_

"Where we going?"

Tyler looked over to his right and saw Blurryface sitting next to him.

"I dunno."

"Somewhere?"

"Yes somewhere."

"SomeWhere on this quiet Christmas eve night?" Blurry sighs then looks at Tyler.

"I just need to get away from Brendon." Tyler grit his teeth driving a little faster.

"And Josh?"

Tyler pauses looking at Blurry then back at the road.

"And Josh?" Blurry repeated.

"Sure,"

"Ahh..Joshua William Dun the love of your life you want to get away from?"

"Look I'm just need some time alone like  _actually_ alone..so fuck off Blurry."

Blurry shifted back looking at Tyler.

"You should go to the bridge."

Tyler stopped looking at Blurry.

"You should go there tonight."

Tyler started driving again-slowly.

"You should go there tonight."

"Should i?"

"Yes. You should go to the bridge tonight."

_I don't wanna go I can't go.._

"you're better off dead anyways."

* * *

_Traffic was none tonight. Everyone was at home with their families and friends celebrating Christmas._

"Josh...I'm sorry."

"No" He looks down pacing around the kitchen.

"Look lemme call him." Brendon pulls out his phone and dials Tyler's number.

_you have reached Tyler Joseph but he's not here so leave me alone_

_Don't leave me alone_

"We've got to go after him." Josh sighed looking up and grabbing his keys.

"Josh..I know Tyler and I think I might know where he's at." Brendon looks at Josh then down.

There's a bit of silence over the two of them. Then Josh gasps.

" ** _No!!!_** "

* * *

_Tyler looked at the glistening water as distant city lights reflected off the water._

"I bet that water is cold."

Tyler nodded.

"Too bad you have to jump."

"I can't swim."

"That's the point."

"I don't have to...do i??"

Blurry faces Tyler as they  stood on the edge of the bridge.

" _Yes_ you must. It's for the best." He put a cold hand on Tyler's shoulder.

He stood up the window making him away slightly.

"You're better off dead Tyler."

Tyler slowly turned around back facing the water as the cold air slapped him in the face.

_don't let me be gone_

"Tyler?" Blurry faces him, red eyes staring into his soul.

"Yes?"

"What's wrong? 

 "Nothing."

Blurry cocked his head to the side then walked up closer to him.

_"is this not the way you wanted to go???"_

"well-" Tyler shivered. "Not exactly."

"Does matter though? After you're gone the world will still continue to go on. The earth will spin. No one will even notice you're dead."

Tyler looked down holding back tears 

"What about Josh?" He looked up.

"Joshua?"

"Yes"

"He has Brendon."

Tyler bit his tounge silent tears falling.

"He has Brendon Tyler. Sure he'll be upset when he first finds out but soon he'll get over it and move on." Blurry put a single finger on Tyler's neck.

_don't let me be gone_

_Don't let me be gone_

"Tyler honesty you're better off  _dead_ ''

He turned around facing the water again. The window started to pick up and the black jacket Tyler was wearing wasn't having any effect.

"Tyler...you should just go."

Tyler's years were starting to freeze to his cheeks and his fingers were getting numb. He leaned forward.

_I'm a Goner_

_Somebody catch my breath_

_I wanna be known by you_

_I wanna be know by you_

Tyler as now completely over the water and if he let go-

* _gone*_

His hands were sweaty and starting to stick to the cold metal poles of the bridge.

_don't let me gone_

"Tyler you are better off dead."

He lossened his grip so his hands wouldn't freeze.

"Blurryface...I don't want to do this."

"Tyler are you sure about that?"

No. He wasn't sure. 

Tyler took his hands off of the bar. Still leaning over that cold black endless water but not enough to fall...

"Blurry...I'm not sure actually. I'm honestly not sure of anything anymore!" Tyler sniffed more tears freezing to his face.

"Ohh..." there was silence before Tyler felt a cold finger on his neck.

Still facing the water heater couldn't see Blurry.

_don't let me be gone_

_Don't let me be gone_

"Tyler..you're better off dead..it's for the best."

"What?" Tyler felt himself give way and fall.

"NOOO!!!!"

"I'm sorry--it's for the best."

He felt cold air rushing all around him as the dark water got closer and closer...

_don't let me be gone_

_Don't let me be gone_

_Don't let me forget be-_

_*gone*_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frends I SO SORRY for not updating in like FOREVER but hopefully that was Good :3 
> 
> And I left you on a cliff hanger too..don't know if that's but...


	23. Can you wash me can you drown me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here i come to you in the very clothes 
> 
> That I killed, killed you in and now I know I'm alone 
> 
> I walk to you,rain falls from you
> 
> Can you wash me can you drown me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys hate me for this don't you
> 
> Yeah you hate me...
> 
> I'm sorry :"(
> 
> If this gets 2500 hits or 150 kudos (which ever is first) I'll make a part two

_"I really hope he didn't go there."_

"Josh.. I'm sure that Tyler wouldn't actually."

He looks over at Brendon then back at the road driving top speed.

 "I know Tyler...and," He pauses. "I hope he didn't either."

* * *

_"I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!!!!"_

_The water hit Tyler like a slap on the face. He opened his eyes, everything was black pitch black and he couldn't breath then he came up._

_The window was calm that night but even the slightest gust made Tyler shiver._

_It was snowing yes. But it would've been more beautiful inside of the safe warm comfort of his house, in Josh's arms safe and sound. Warm and happy._

_Josh._

_Tyler couldn't. Why did he???_

_He knew Josh would be so upset!!!_

_Tears fell down Tyler's face freezing almost instantly._

_He couldn't feel his feet or legs. The water carried him father away from the bridge. His hand were number but not frozen because he was flailing in the water trying to stay above it._

_Can you wash me can you drown me_

  _his arms were weak, numb probably frozen._

_"I didn't want this..why did i???"_

_Tyler tried to stay above water fighting the waves, the piercing cold water._

* * *

"I know he came here." Josh parks the car at the bridge that Tyler was at.

"Josh I found his car!!"

He ran after Brendon and looked inside.

" _Oh my God he's not in there."_ Josh starting panting tears coming to his eyes.

"Josh chill chill he couldn't have jumped." Brendon paused. "Hopefully he didn't."

They walked over to the platform where Tyler  _was_ at, screaming for him.

"TYLER!!"

TYLER!!! WE'RE ARE YOU?!"

"TY?! WHERE ARE YOU?"

"TYLER JOSH IS REALLY WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

* * *

_He snapped his eyes open. The water was salty and black. He was under._

_"I'm dead aren't i?"_

_He could felt himself crying. Not because the salt burned his eyes but because Blurryface had won._

_Salty tears mixed with salty lake water. Tyler Joseph has been defeated Blurry has won._

_He started to take a deep breath in to scream but then realized he couldn't._

_He was holding his breath-breath-had been for the past three minutes but he couldn't anymore._

_His arms were frozen and even if they weren't he couldn't swim back up to the surface._

_And so he started to drown._

* * *

"TYLER!!!"

"ITS NO USE!" 

Brendon faced Josh.

"He's gone. We were too late. He jumped." Josh looked at him then at the cold black water.

"No..we don't know that for a fact he wouldn't jump. He loves you he knows how upset you would be." Brendon looks down.

"But...I didn't love him. I yelled at him. I told him to leave."

Josh felt tears coming to his eyes.

"I didn't belive him when he said that Blurry was real."

"But you tried to get him help?"

"Yes...but that's because I didn't believe him and I thought he was crazy."

"Josh this isn't your fault."

"Yes it is!" He broke down crying. "My boyfriend commit suicide because of me!!!"

"JOSH! WE DON'T KNOW THAT!"

"THEN WHERE IS HE BRENDON?? WHERE IS TYLER AT IF HE DIDN'T JUMP?!" 

"JOSH I DON'T KNOW..!" Brendon glared down at the water.

"Call his phone again."

* * *

_frozen._

_Wasn't that time?_

_Was time frozen for Tyler or was he dead._

_His ears rang louder than any type of ringing you would be exposed to in your lifetime._

_Am I dead? Tyler was most certainly dead._

_He was drifting. He couldn't breath. His ears were blu_ _e his fingers were black and frozen._

_Everything was black-Blue._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys hate me now don't you

**Author's Note:**

> More chapters coming soon I promise


End file.
